You are one of very few powerful leaders of a major religion called "Sotorija". Like many other religions, most of Sotorija's 200 million followers are conservatives or moderates, with some people being progressives, and a tiny portion being extremists.
Upon years of studying scripture, you have come to the conclusion that Sotorija is a radical religion. As such, you have lost your faith. You see yourself as having two options. Option A is leaving Sotorija. You can speak your truth from a safe refuge and encourage people to leave the religion. Option B is staying. You would continue to serve as a leader, enjoying modest but respectable living standards, and pretend that Sotorija is a very progressive religion and attempt to convince your followers as such.